In All and Through All

Last month, I wrote:

"My goal this week?  Get everything done before leaving for the U.S. for a few weeks.

My goal last week? Introduce a few different women to the Peace that surpasses all understanding. We sat there praying for a woman's husband who has had this Chronic Kidney Disease for the past 14 years. Her husband is in and out of consciousness. I hadn't seen him this bad before.  Hundreds of prayers have been prayed over this man.  He's even been literally on his death bed a year or so ago, but after much prayer he began to recover.  So as we prayed for her and him, I cried feeling the immense weight she was under. We cried together. I knew what the Holy Spirit wanted to do for her like he had done for me in the past...bring His peace. He is so good at that. He's a fantastic comforter.   Though so many in this village numb themselves to the grief of sickness and death, the Holy Spirit still desires to meet them in those moments.

My goal the week before?  Make sure to have accommodations complete for a man who is avidly working to find the cause of this Chronic Kidney Disease. [He is a water expert that has been working for the past 5 years to help see this community free from the devastation of such a large amount of loss]."

This week one of my goals was to meet with the couple who is running their own store out of the New Song base, just to make sure their finances are going well and that they are doing well.  I got to pray with them over their business and pray blessing over their finances.

It's amazing to me how differently God shows up and how many different ways He wants to use us.  Providing accommodations and making sure someone's bed and food are prepared for them, are not what comes to my mind to define "ministry."   But that's part of it, and I love that.

It is also amazing to me how God reveals Himself to each one of us so differently so that we can show others one part of His nature.  He has revealed His peace to me in so many moments, by so many simple words. I can confidently relay this peace to others.  "This is who Jesus is for me, and can be for you if you let Him."

Each gifting and each revelation are our own, given from the Father. Nothing forced, contrived, or even worked for. It's by the power of God through us.  We each make up an important part in restoring this world to a relationship with God. We raise up communities. It is all by the work of His own hand, nothing I can boast of myself, but it is Him only.  It's beautifully simple, completely unexpected, and so good.

5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of [us] all, Who is above all [Sovereign over all], pervading all and [living] in [us] all. 7 Yet grace (God's unmerited favor) was given to each of us individually [not indiscriminately, but in different ways] in proportion to the measure of Christ's [rich and bounteous] gift.  Galatians 4

12For just as the body is a unity and yet has many parts, and all the parts, though many, form [only] one body, so it is with Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). 13 For by [means of the personal agency of] one [Holy] Spirit we were all, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free, baptized [and by baptism united together] into one body, and all made to drink of one [Holy] Spirit. 14 For the body does not consist of one limb or organ but of many...  1 Corinthians 12

Reinstating True Identity

It happened again. But this time it was worse than when it happened a few years back. A well known man in the church was drunk and stumbling in the streets. This time some of the kids who looked up to him saw him. Word got around the village quickly. The man's face who was always at the front of the church, was now the topic of the gossip around town.

I've seen this happen several times growing up in church.  A leader falls, people start talking, he/she are asked to step down and then they're never seen again.

Luckily, this story headed a different direction.

I have worked pretty closely with this guy since I got here.  God has changed him completely since I came in 2009, and yet he had a slip up.  But this slip up was not an indicator of who he is or how Jesus saw him. Luckily, this time around there were enough people inside of the church who know who he really is.

The next time I saw him he stood outside of the property of the church that he dedicated himself to so faithfully.  His head was held low. Emily and I ran up to him to hug him. I'd envision Jesus doing the same thing, but more like an all out tackle.  We talked a little. Then the pastor, whom he had apparently been avoiding, walked up to him. They talked. The pastor told him he was more than welcome to come in the property lines, come to church, that he had been looking for him and wanting to talk. They decided they would talk later.

The next week I had a talk with him after he had been received back by so many, his heart seemed so full. He seemed to be doing well.  He told me that in the past, he had gone to several churches in the area and that no other church would ever treat him with such love like our church community did. My heart welled up with joy.  He said he felt so loved by us, the pastors, and even his kids came and ran up to hug him shouting his name.

"When I first heard what happened, I knew that isn't who you are. You are not that person." I told him. "That love that you felt from all of us, that is the smallest, just the tiniest portion of the love that God has for you." He had no response. He just nodded his head. As I said that, my heart welled up again, and my eyes. He needed to know that. He already knew what everyone else thought. He already knew the gravity of what he did. God wants for him to know how God feels about him, that God did not want him to get swallowed up by an alcohol problem; that God created him for much more. That's what we get to do as believers. Tell people how God sees them.  I believe that when people understand God's heart for them, then they want to know the Father.

God was pouring out this kindness on this guy.  God wants to see him set free.

It confirmed something in my heart that says "This is the purpose of life and the reason for any ministry. People need to know the Father."  I've never been great at group Bible studies, or church ministry.  I don't lead 5 people to Christ per week or see 10 healed a month or complete any other figure that many missionaries can rejoice about. But with those whom we get to share the Father's heart, even if it is only small instances, it is worth anything and everything we can offer. People need to know who they are, who God is, His kindness and liberty, and that He wants them to live in their true identity.

Preparing the Ground

At the beginning of this month, we sat eight of us in our big room four days in a row in close to 100 degree weather.  With ideas and opinions being tossed about every which way, we accomplished something necessary for any organization or business- stopping normal productivity to cast and communicate vision.  We called it our "Seek Week."  The vision was for this week to become an annual time of casting vision and preparing the ground for the year.

New Song has been working to change the lives of the people here in Candelaria since 2002 and has faced many obstacles, failures, blessings, and successes along the way.  Those things can cause an organization to ebb, flow, and attempt to throw it off its primary purpose.

It can also throw a person off their purpose.  That is why it's important to consistently step back, look at what you are doing and ask yourself what it is you want to do and what you are doing to get there.

We also looked at several challenges we were facing and how we need to approach them. The biggest challenge being: how do we continue to give to those in need and not create a dependency on Americans?  If there is one thing we want everyone to understand is our dependency on God- not the dollar or the cordoba.  (Even talking about this challenge causes us to have a greater dependency on God because we need Him to guide each step!)

We've had meeting after meeting because we want to enforce a structure and foundation that will last and bless this community for years to come.  It's amazing what sort and amount of communication is necessary to see a project like this succeed!

Then we prepared to bring in our first mission team since January. Two families came down from N.C.'s coast for a week.  They completely blessed us by offering to give free dental care to a few in the community who really needed it.  They also brought uniforms, soccer equipment, art supplies, and gave gymnastics lessons for the kids around.  It is amazing how those who visit for such a short time can greatly impact our community in Candelaria. One of the ladies also taught our team about the importance of social media in communicating to those in the states what is going on here, so hopefully you will be getting a better idea of what we are doing here than just a monthly blog.  These two families were so kind and so ready to help.

We also had a family for Canada come through for the night just interested in what New Song is doing.  Though they were here for a day, they were so ready to pray for those around and brought us stuff for our kids and music ministry.

Having those who support us from the states, or come to serve is really a huge blessing for all of us here.  We get to spend time with kids, minister to the sick, love the broken, and the lost, but you are the backbone how you love us!  So thank you all for all that you do.

Seek Week 9 a.m. meeting

 Moving foam mattresses on top of the taxi, down to the base to prepare for the families who came

.

God Among Us

"I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.  So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow."  1 Corinthians 3:6-8

As I sat with Rosa on Friday in the homes of some of the sick and the widows in the village, I got to hear some of the testimonies of how God healed a son of theirs or how God healed another from a stroke. Then I was at an outreach village woman's meeting with my friend Whitney.  I was listening to each woman tell three things that they were thankful for.  Some of the women went on and on about how grateful they were for what God has done in their life.  One woman was specifically grateful for how the Lord has released her from fear over her daughter's safety.

When I listen to these woman recount these stories, I realize even more how powerful God really is.   God is working in these small little villages in remote parts of Nicaragua healing and restoring lives. Several men have come to know God because they saw the life He gives, not because of rules or fear of going to Hell. Not to say that God hasn't used people to pray or to tell people about Him, because He has, but He has been doing the work in people's hearts.

I was reading about John the Baptist.  He stood out in the middle of the desert announcing Jesus' arrival.  I wondered how he was so sure and convinced of this?  Was this common family knowledge because of what the angels said to Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth, and Zechariah? Or did the Holy Spirit stir this in him on a separate occasion?  The word says the Lord spoke to him about how to identify Jesus.  My guess would be that God told him to go baptize people as well?  Either way, I think it was a mix of it all.  God is the one who speaks, who delivers, and who heals.  He will lead us and guide us.  As we spend more time with Him and opening ourselves up to Him, the Holy Spirit rises within us giving us the desires to move where He is moving because we are more attracted to Him the more we are around Him.

This gives me more faith that He will come through especially when I leave the results up to whether He comes through or not.  He does the growing and grows where He wishes.  We have the easy part of sowing or watering.

When I see these people affected by His goodness, that they also know this God that I have come to know, I realize how powerful He is.  He isn't in a movement or the work of man's hands or a conjure of emotion.  He shows up when He wants and where He wants and it is real when He does just as He did by writing the 10 commandments in front of Moses, or by descending on Jesus like a dove at His baptism.  It's important to me to see that He does this. Maybe I am still combating this internal intellectualism that began in college, but it reminds me of this quote by C.S. Lewis:

"Compared with the development of man on this planet, the diffusion of Christianity over the human race seems to go like a flash of lightning—for two thousand years is almost nothing in the history of the universe. (Never forget that we are all still ‘the early Christians’. The present wicked and wasteful divisions between us are, let us hope, a disease of infancy: we are still teething. The outer world, no doubt, thinks just the opposite. It thinks we are dying of old age. But it has thought that very often before. Again and again it has thought Christianity was dying, dying by persecutions from without and corruptions from within, by the rise of Mohammedanism, the rise of the physical sciences, the rise of great anti-Christian revolutionary movements. But every time the world has been disappointed. Its first disappointment was over the crucifixion. The Man came to life again. In a sense— and I quite realise how frightfully unfair it must seem to them—that has been happening ever since. They keep on killing the thing that He started: and each time, just as they are patting down the earth on its grave, they suddenly hear that it is still alive and has even broken out in some new place. (No wonder they hate us.)"

Candelaria

There is something about these muddy roads in Candelaria that reminds me of Jesus.  Roads lined by the little cement houses in which eyes or hands peak out to say hello.  The people inside are either cleaning, cooking, or resting in their conversation with one another.  They probably have time to talk with you. You stride along with another speaking of life and what makes it valuable or maybe just of a funny story as Jesus did with his friends that we call disciples.  You stop to talk with someone happy to see you, or to go into pray for someone who is sick.  The entrance of their house is marked by poles lined with barbed wire which follow the lines of the property. "Buenas!"  Usually is welcomed with the response, "Pasa adelante." (Walk forward)  You greet them by a kiss on the cheek.  They will tell you about their children, how they are doing, how the family is doing, and sometimes they offer something to drink. You will more than likely sit in a plastic chair, on a bed, or just stand.  It is usually dark with only the light from outside the door giving you vision of the dirt floor so tidily swept.  Pictures of loved ones are usually framed in some unusual manner along the cement wall.   The most important thing to them? Each other.  You can feel the delight of God walking these roads.
     Just a few weeks ago, a young man who once a part of a gang in Managua moved to this countryside village and heard the message of the grace of God.  That no matter where we've been, if we give our lives to God, His power will change us and renew us.  He recently made that choice. He, his wife, and two boys are now part of New Song.  His heart was so affected by God's heart, that he wants to show other guys from a similar background, this joy and freedom that he has discovered.
      Last time I visited, another man gave his life to God after finding out about this grace as well.  He has recently decided to marry one of the women who had lost her husband several years before and has been raising two girls alone ever since.
    A lot of the people are amazed by this idea of grace.  That it is the power of God that changes us, it isn't by our own strength.  People's lives are changing because of this message, because it is indeed a life-changing message.
I've had the joy of watching one of my good friends embrace the broken and hurting women who meet together on Saturday afternoons.  She has been able to hear their stories in the past few years.  I've gotten the privilege to pray with them too. I've gotten the privilege of holding their babies and playing with their children.
    This January I'm planning to move from the hostel to the base to be on these roads to live life with these people and the other missionaries who live down there. I've been in the process of taking on some administrative tasks while in Matagalpa. When I move down there, I will be helping with administration, hospitality with incoming teams, and the worship ministry. I am so excited for this time that is coming and cannot wait to share with you all that God is doing.  I'm so glad you're able to share in this with me.

Learning the Ropes, the Radio, and the Hospital

The past few weeks have been a bit full and a bit unexpected.

I've been getting acquainted well with my new surroundings. I got to visit some friends from my last visit and make some new friends.  I've learned my way to different towns on the bus. I've gotten to hike some, and meet some amazing people.  

This past month was dedicated to getting my footing in the town of Matagalpa.  I have met people who have a house of prayer here. They are Nicaraguan and open their doors every day from 8-5 every day for anyone in the community to come and pray. It's such a sweet place to go outside of the house.  

I've also met a few people who have been part of a Nicaraguan church that was established in Matagalpa over 100 years ago called Iglesia Elim.

I went to the music store in town one day to get a piece for my guitar that I had left.  A guy who was visiting as well told me about this church that I have been able to attend a few times.  One day a few weeks ago he asked if I would be able to go to a radio station as an English speaker to reach out to any English speakers.  When we got there the lights had been shut off due to lack of funding, so naturally we all prayed together for the radio and the funding.  The lights did get paid for and they had me back last week.  I'm not much a public speaker, but it was a good time with the sweet women there who run the station.  

Later I was taken to a lady whose office was at the same music store who also went to Elim.  She helps administer a ministry that is very active in the community that reaches out to students, poorer families, troubled kids, etc.  She asked if I would be willing to help teach English to raise up Christian interpreters. I was pretty excited about this as it was something I studied a little in college.  

I have also been able to meet with a couple who have moved here from Texas who have started a farming ministry.  Their desire is to train indigenous people to farm and eventually sell the land back to them after they have graduated the classes.  I'm in awe of the impact this ministry could have on the people of Nicaragua.

I've also been helping my friend Melissa who runs a foster care house here in Matagalpa also.  She is in the process of adopting a little girl that came to her a year ago. The social workers came to do a home study a lot sooner than expected so we got the house straightened up. The ministry of family seems to really be in favor of the adoption.  We are just praying for the process to speed up so Melissa can enjoy a very much needed trip back to the states.

Two weeks ago I got really sick over one night, but continued having some stomach issues throughout the week.  The stomach issues began to get pretty painful.  For two nights the pain woke me up several times throughout the night .  The third night I began reading about appendicitis and worried myself into a frenzy sleeping only 3 hours.  I had Melissa take me to the hospital at 11 am, where we sat all day. The doctor pressed on different areas of my abdomen with the lower right side causing the most pain.  Laying in the hospital all day was seriously worse than the pain I had endured. I only wanted to go home and sleep. After I convinced the doctor that the pain was not so bad, he let me go home with about 5 different prescriptions and direction to come back the next morning for a ultrasound.  

The next day, I was happy to know I was only going to be in the hospital for a quick ultrasound and then I would be on my way.  But when the combination of my ultrasound, the high concentration of bacteria in my blood, and the pain in my abdomen convinced my doctor I needed an appendectomy, my happiness quickly turned to fear.  Jason and his wife Issa, who oversee the hostel I work at, took me to get a second opinion which confirmed the appendicitis.  So I called my parents crying, signed some papers, and then went under the knife with some local anesthesia and sleeping medicine.   The good part is that I made it out alive and without my appendix bursting because the doctor explained that it was very inflamed.  Melissa was so gracious to take care of me at her house which currently had no other children, thank God. Her daughter has recently gotten a fever while she's taking care of me, but she is a trooper.  I am so appreciative of everyone's prayers, kind words, and for Melissa, Jason, Issa.  I have no idea what I would have done without them.  I am so thankful to God for being with me and giving me peace through all of this. He is such a good God. I've been recuperating pretty quickly, I think and can only believe it is because of everyone's prayers, so thank you! 

All in all, I think I have gone in head first to what it is like in this wonderful mountain town of Nicaragua. Even though October has started off a little rocky,  I am excited to see what is next.  

En la Tierra

I finally made it. The coffee town of Matagalpa, but even on a broader scale- Latin America.

It is different than America for reasons like, but not limited to:

Everything is in Spanish

The air smells like a continuous bonfire (which is wonderful to me).

You don't throw your used toilet paper in the toilet, it goes in the trash.

No noise ordinances.  

Weird looks and stares from everyone. 

Lights going off at any moment. 

I remembered all of this, this week.  

After fishing toilet paper out of the toilet for the third or fourth time, I shook my head.  I hope this learning curve will not take much time. I like efficiency...which is the other thing to get used to about Latin America. 

It's not on American time.  Being on time is not so important.

The other day, I realized that I had no other obligation than to spend the time to sit for a while and converse with an elderly lady by the name of Maria who was begging on the street. I talked with her a little and then went to buy her some food.  I was hesitant at first to do so because my heart and Harvest Equippers heart is to empower the church (in this case) of Nicaragua to do the work of the Kingdom. We do not want people to depend on the American's ministry or the U.S. dollar.  But I felt the Lord giving me the choice, and I felt more joy in bringing her food.  We (God and I) wanted to do this together.  I think perhaps it was because taking care of the widows and the orphans seems to be a practical priority to Jesus according to the book of James. So on the busy sidewalk we sat.  Although my Spanish wasn't at the place that I could understand everything she said, I was able to sit and be a listening ear.  She has the happiest face despite sitting and begging which she said makes her roughly 100 cordoba ($5) a day instead of her former years of hand-washing clothes, which really generally only brings in roughly one U.S. dollar per load. She told me she has no family but a son she sees every now and again. She does have a house, which could literally mean a tin/plywood shack on the edge of town, or a cement house with an iron gate. I hope to find out once I get my Spanish down pat. To sit and talk with her was so life-giving for me, just for the fact that there was no time limit, no pressure, no work in the background that I was putting off. I was able to sit, smile, and enjoy this sweet lady's company.  

I've also got to have a few other conversations with the people staying in the hostel where I live. Two are from Canada, who drove here from Colorado, each with great stories.  The lights were out the night I talked with the Canadian couple. They asked me questions about church, which is the complete opposite of what I have always experienced with Atheists. Many atheists I've talked to tend to get irritated or shut off if God or Jesus is ever mentioned, which I always assume is because of how a Christian has acted towards them. Never have I been asked.  They are moving here and living at the hostel until their house is ready.   The couple from Colorado were psychology majors like I was, which has brought a lot of enjoyable and interesting discussion for both sides. We have gotten along very well and have shared a lot of love for the outdoors.  They are also planning to move to Nicaragua for a while. 

I have gotten to meet another missionary-Melissa who has started a house for orphans and/or neglected children over a year ago. Another friend of hers and I just arrived into the country which will bring community for her as well as us.  Just in a week, I have had these deep, meaningful, and unexpected discussions with my house friends and Melissa. Today was also very meaningful because I was able to talk with and meet two Nicaraguan believers, but I'll leave that for next time.

Despite my desire to get things done, the Lord has been showing up unexpectedly on His time and is very much welcome in this country which are the things that I love about this place and am so glad to finally be here.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying and for the wonderful ladies who have been making sure I am doing well. Blessings to you all in the name of Jesus!

Changed Dates

       
As you may have noticed, the dates for my trip have changed from June to August due to a need for more funds.  At first I was discouraged in this decision, but I believe the Lord has a process for me in the midst of it.

God is always more concerned with the condition of our heart than the work of our hand.  This makes a lot of sense since the condition of our heart affects the work of our hand.  For the past few years, I have been in a process of learning who God wants to be for me, His dreams for my life, and where the line is between what is my responsibility and what is His.  In this process, I am learning to trust Him.  The only way we can learn to trust Him wholeheartedly is by entering into His rest.  (You would think it would be the other way around.)  If we can understand how serious He was about Israel entering into rest with Him, we can understand His will for us to do the same.

Imagine a child when they want something. Bad. Or if they are in an uncomfortable situation.  They go into a fit, yelling, crying, throwing a fit.  If the child could only realize that they are being adjusted to comfort, or that conditions are being set for that child to have what would delight their heart, they would be calm.  We grow up to learn to be patient adults :), but spiritually we are not always like adults.  If something uncomfortable happens, I can become so disappointed.  I used to go to a place of complete despair.

Imagine if a child trusted their parent.  If we could just stare at the Lord in wonder with bright eyes and trust; a certain knowledge that He has the best plan in mind. How beautiful and peaceful it is!  Have you ever seen anything like it!

This is the place the Lord has for us, and has been teaching me in this process of waiting.  He did not provide a check in the mail for me, or do some miraculous sign and wonder, which could only mean He has another plan and purpose. I know there is another process in this decision to wait.  I am looking to find Him in this time.  Who knows? He may have someone for me to meet through fundraising, or just maybe give me more time for my heart to rest. So far I have been able to see a lot of you which has encouraged my heart so much! Whatever the reason, I know He is good and has a plan.

And so, I thank you for being on this journey with me. I hope you will continue to keep me in your prayers as I continue raising funds.  More than anything, I desire to hear the Lord's direction for this time.  I appreciate each person who is a part of this. May God bless you in abundance of rest!

Going to Nicaragua

Family and Friends, it is time!

In a little over a month, I plan to get on a plane and fly to a third world nation whose predominant language is Spanish.  This country is located in central America with a population of about 5.8 million people.

The landscape is a beautiful mixture of volcano chains, lagoons, beaches and mountains. The people are equally if not more beautiful.

Even with the beauty, Nicaraguans face an immense amount of poverty as the poorest country in Central America and the second poorest in the Western Hemisphere according to the CIA fact book. Children run around without shoes in dirt roads and their own dirt houses.  The government turns off the electricity at will.  Women hand wash clothes for about $1 per load (our machines in America make more than that).  Dreaming isn't even a reality for the people of this nation.

However, you can look closer down there and see something happening.  There are several different ministries down there, all doing something to help.  A ministry called New Song Nicaragua has planted itself in the middle of an extremely poor village called Candelaria.  They meet for church, just opened a restaurant focused on training the people to provide for themselves, and they go out to minister to these people and pray with them on a daily basis.  There is a hostel which brings in people from all over the world just traveling through providing hospitality. There is a rehab started through the vision of a young lady in her twenties who want to see women and children who are abused or even trafficked find a way to get help, refuge, and hopefully to have a relationship with Jesus.  There are several other ministries I have been told of, all helping to lay another stone in the walls of the Kingdom of God.  It's beautiful.

Thankfully, I get to go down there to be a part of what God is doing. I plan to help primarily in the hostel, some in New Song, and hopefully the rehab facility in whatever way God leads me.  What I do know is that God wants to reveal to these people that He is their hope.  He has plans to give them hope in a hopeless society and that is the Good News. So thank you for being a part of this endeavor with me.

You can see what New Song is doing by going to www.NewSongNica.org.  You can be a part financially by going to www.harvestequippers.org. (Just make sure to put my name in the memo )